Where it all began

I believe there are a lot of us out there who are starting to notice the cracks in our perception of reality. One morning after the first lockdown I got up to peer out of my window and saw the pavements and roads were all cracked as if there had been an earthquake. I then actually woke up and realised I was just having a very vivid dream.

For many this journey started years ago but I would wage a bet that in the year 2020 many more people have made their first step into what I can only describe as de-schooling or unlearning. My journey started after the announcement that I was no longer allowed to visit my family. This thought seemed to pervade every cell in my brain, it just didn’t compute.

I had a stable upbringing and attended school right the way through to University. I learnt what I was told to learn and then repeated this back in the form of essays and exams. I went on to work in various roles, and currently advise people how to find work.

2020 for me was a big slap in the face…Wake Up!!

I started to ask questions and then proceeded to search for the answers. Current events were just not making sense and actions did not seem justified. This part of my journey was disorientating. The answers I found when digging deeper were far out of my comfort zone, and hard to process. I had to breakdown my entire construct of reality. It was a very bitter pill to swallow, everything that had previously shaped my thoughts and opinions suddenly seemed alien to me.

What shocked me is that I started to see that critical thinking among the general public seemed to have almost but disappeared! We had just all become so disconnected and insular that actually life had lost its meaning. Myself very much included.  I came to understand that mainstream media were very much in control of the narrative which shaped society’s opinions. If it’s on the news it had to be true. I had always had faith that the “news” was factual and unbiased, because anything else would surely be immoral.

Many of us become so attached to our ego/identity that our perspectives become narrow and deter us from looking at the wider picture. Sadly, we have become a society where we crave identification, we want to be put in a specific box and then we fight for it. Many of us live our life never seeing the holistic picture, instead we let ourselves be told what we need or want, keeping us from our true needs and wants.

My partner has been on his journey for many years. His childhood trauma had led him to question authority from an early age but that’s a story for another time. My point is that trauma of any kind can often be a catalyst for individuals to look deeper. The lack of trust that follows trauma have led many to start to question everything and no longer take things at face value. Finding the truth for them is of utmost importance and we know it is the light that illuminates the dark.

There are many of us who are struggling with the fact their foundations have cracked or even completely fallen away. This year has certainly affected every aspect of my life and how I now perceive reality. It can be a long and sometimes lonely journey.

If you find yourself in the position where reality seems very distorted then I can promise that you are not alone. It comes down to each individual to look within and discover their authentic selves. However, there is nothing to say we can’t all support one another through our journeys, I certainly have come across several people who have supported me on mine. Keep in mind as cliche as it may be, life is about the journey and not the destination.






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